Moon Karma Zero

Yes...very much so.

2008-11-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

Screw WORKING to play with your dog.

2008-11-18T21:50:00.001-08:00

I'm beginning to like this future more and more.

Is there anything lego can't do?

2008-10-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

Our future lies in our past....

2008-10-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Venture into the time portal to see more links to our steampunk alternate universe.

Jack Thompson isn't anti video game insane, he's just insane.

2008-10-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

The Top Ten moments in Jack Thompson's career with one of my personal favorite ones from this list.

2. Batman of Rap

In 1990 Jacky, as we will now refer to him as “Jack” is entirely too manly a name for one who fears the Kung Fu of a woman over half a century old, decided that Rap was his new enemy. In his campaign against 2Live Crew’s “As Nasty As They Wanna Be” he claimed that he was Bruce Wayne, a Batman to fight the evils of Rap Music. Not just in words: he wore a Bat-watch and mailed people copies of his driver’s license with pictures of Batman edited in. Hands up if that sounds like the act of a well-adjusted legal professional (there will be no hands up, as anybody who tries to raise one will find it inconveniently “restrained” by some kind of “jacket”).

So fucking simple, yet so incredibly mind boggling.

2008-01-01T21:04:00.001-08:00

Classified under: name,

I know at least one of you people love toast.

2008-01-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

There are more turntables and also a microphone

2008-01-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

I want this watch..and so should you.

2008-01-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

While this overpriced monstrosity will be beyond most of our grasps for quite a while, it's something that I hope one day to have. Original, if you could say biting from the Mayan or Aztec calender original and a bit hard to probably tell the time during the more hectic situations, it's still something so sweet and so natural that you can't help to actually want it.

A great collection of animated shorts

2008-01-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

A lot of these new posts are going to be from another blog however it's too good to have only one source as the main outlet for these aesthetically pleasing works. This link leads to a moderate collective of great animated shorts which shows perhaps animation isn't all that shitty if you know where to look.

Classified under: animation,

Presenting the most hardcore video monitor ever..

2008-01-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

Classified under: technology,

Putin Stars in Instructional Judo DVD

2007-12-22T21:51:00.000-08:00

That's right, former Russian President and Time Magazine "Man of the Year" Vladimir Putin will star in an instructional Judo DVD.

Russia's judo-loving President, Vladimir Putin, has recorded an instructional DVD along with Japanese Olympic champion Yasuhiro Yamashita.

The DVD will be released as a supplement to a judo manual and is due to come out in January or February, the Kremlin's most famous black belt said.

source

Classified under: Vladimir Putin,Judo

Jack Bauer: Eco-Warrior

2007-09-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

With the television show 24 possibly taking a leftward turn this season (female president, casting of Janeane Garofalo, environmentally friendly production) how could this affect the scripts? Maybe something like this:

Int. Bus - CONTINUOUS

JACK BAUER
Follow that Prius! Can't you drive any faster?

BUS DRIVER
If this is too slow for you, drive yourself.

JACK BAUER
And contribute eight thousand pounds of CO2 to the atmosphere? Then I'd be the worst terrorist of all. Ever think about that, [LOOKS AT NAMETAG] Doug?

(Courtesy Shocho)
Classified under: 24, humor, environmentalism

Punch-Out Movie Trailer

2007-06-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

What could be so awesome as to raise MKZ from its stupor? Why, a trailer for a fake Punch-Out!! movie!

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (Later renamed Punch-Out!! when Mr. Tyson's contract expired and no, I don't know why it requires two exclamation points either) was one of the best games for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Anyone who says otherwise is misguided or lying. It had such amazing characters that each had personality. So wouldn't a movie based on the game be a sure bet?

That's what the folks at Team Awesome believed and they were correct.

Nintendo had launched its Short Cuts Showcase, an open-call competition that invited aspiring filmmakers to flex their creative skills in a three-to-five-minute Nintendo-themed video or film. A group of filmmakers calling themselves Team Awesome answered the call with this trailer for a supposed Punch-Out!! movie and, for some reason, didn't win the competition.

But they did put together a myspace page for the movie and this, well, awesome trailer:

Classified under: video games, movies, Punch-Out!!

Duelin' Firemen - If lovin' this heat is wrong, I don't wanna be right

2007-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have previously regaled you with tales of how one Full Motion Video (FMV) game nearly destroyed society as we know it, but last week I discovered another FMV game that likely also would have completely changed society. Unfortunately, it was never released.

Duelin' Fireman was originally conceived as a game for the 3DO. This excerpt from GamePro magazine probably describes it best:

The Hype: Singing firemen. That's right, singing firemen. In this full-motion video outing, Air Force One crashes into the Sears Tower, setting all of Chicago ablaze. Emergency personnel have abandoned their posts, so it's up to the player, in the boots of the fire captain, to find "buildings that are not burning, where the captain and his crew quickly create an intricate dance accompaniment to the captain's musical selection of choice." If a rival brigade shows up in the same building, "Watch out! It's time for a hoedown!" To win the game, you have to score a contract with a Japanese record company. We are not making this up.

The "game" features a diverse cast such as Rudy Ray Moore (known for his role in seminal blacksploitation film Dolemite), Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo, Terrence McKenna, Tony Hawk, Timothy Leary, Steve Albini, Rev. Ivan Strang of The Church of the SubGenius, and David Yow of Jesus Lizard. As a bit of trivia, if the game had come out, it would have been Tony Hawk's first video game appearance, 4 or 5 years before the skateboarding series that bears his name. Also, a few years back, there were thoughts of reviving the game, but with 9/11, the concept of a space shuttle hitting the Sears Tower was thought to not go over well.

Anyway, you have to check out this apparent trailer for the game that consists of several of the video sequences edited together. It is absolute batshit insane. Or, as one cast member put it:

What sets this game apart from anything else I've ever seen is the TOTAL MIND-RAPE HILLBILLY SPAZZ-OUT STYLE of it. It makes Sam Raimi look like D.W. Griffith by comparison... makes Tim Burton look like Ernie Bushmiller. It is sick, twisted, weird and 'Frop-besoaked like nothing on earth.

For more information on the game, check out this metafilter post and its comments and this post by cast member Rev. Ivan Strang.

Classified under: Duelin' Firemen, video games, 3DO, vaporware

Cho Seung-hui's Richard McBeef

2007-04-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, Warren Ellis commented that in the next month that they'll be at least four new bands called Richard McBeef. The guy's probably right on the money. That noted, I'm surprised that he didn't predict that Cho Seung-hui's plays would garner more memetic attention. If you check youtube or google video, you'll see that there's a couple of versions of Richard McBeef out there (as an aside, I think that perhaps Richard McBeef is Cho's sly commentary on McBeth, perhaps?), ranging from a decently staged short film to this, a puppet flick. Jim Hensen, this is not.

Twist Ending: the Goosebumps Blog

2007-04-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

So back before Harry Potter came out, moms were fretting. Yes, kids were discovering the joys of reading, but they were reading Goosebumps. I'm not sure why they were so frightened. Was it because kids were indulging in kindergarten level Lovecraftian horror, or was it because the books were bad. I have a mental picture of R. L. Stein sitting on the toilet literally shitting out another sub-par Goosebumps novel hoping that he'd get another pay cheque fast enough to fuel his hungry smack problem. These novels, if you can call them that, are easily not good. That said, Goosebumps helped me improve my French reading abilities. Does this make me a hypocrite for taking the piss?

Twist Ending takes the piss better than I ever could. It focuses on what made goosebumps the phenom that it was, back in the day: the twist ending. mps. Troy Steele, the site's author, expertly examines the twist as well as the shitty ass fake cliff hangers and makes delicious comedic pie out of it. For that, it's worth checking out.

Damn, I want that game!

2007-04-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

At the website, insert credit, they spotlighted a person living in Russia who was documenting the pirated Famicom (NES) and Mega Drive (Genesis) games available there. In doing this, he also took a photograph of some pirated Game Boy Advance games available and one in particular caught my (and most people's) eye:

Yes, Secret Agent Royal Jew. Does that game seem like a classic or what?

Sadly, I've been informed that it is likely just a truncation of a Barbie game called Barbie Secret Agent: The Royal Jewels. But a guy can dream, can't he?

Classified under: video games, Russia, piracy, Jews

Shit Powered Future: the Aachi & Ssipak trailer

2007-04-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

I remember that right before the turn of the century, Japan was considered to be the greatest exporter of cinematic goodness in the world. In the last couple of years, thanks to a Korean law that insists that Korean theaters show movies from their country 100 days of the year (much to the MPAA's chagrin), the South Korean movie industry has been booming. Thanks to this law, directors such as Takeshi, Miike and others are being forgotten to new fresh Korean directors like Chan-wok Park, Kim-Ki Duk and Joon-ho Bong. Seriously, Korean cinema is awesome.

Until now, Japan has had a monopoly on animation, specifically weird shit that's aimed at man-children. No longer! Aachi and Ssipak is a futurific thriller that takes place in a post apocalyptic future (aren't they all?) where human shit is used to power the Earth. Thanks to unauthorized defecation, the government has inserted monitors in everyone's anuses to make sure that they're helping to power the future. Spoken for truth. Even if that doesn't grab you (it did me, mother fucker!), check out the trailer and see what happens when you outsource 90% of the animation in the States. The results are eye lovingly awesome

Too Soon! Massacre Edition

2007-04-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

What does Warren Ellis think of school related killings? The answer was pulled from comic shelves almost a decade ago.

32 people were killed today, for those who are keeping track. For those of you keeping score, someone's thinking of you too

Fistacuffs: Battle of the Comic Book Super Star

2007-04-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I got into it pretty late in the game, but I figured that I'd spread the word. Fist-a-cuffs is comicbookdom's survival of the fittest. Every couple of days, comic book super stars team up with each other in true tag team fashion to pummel their opponents' characters. Super stars like who? The powerful posse includes Paul Pope, Kieron Dwyer, Scott Morse and more! Because we live in an enlightened era, the winners of each match are decided by the powers of democracy, and not the powers of violence. So do your part citizen, and help decide this round's winner

My Mommy Is a Democrat: a book in one part

2007-04-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Being a Canadian, I honestly don't see the appeal of politicizing someone's childhood, but who am I to doubt the American Way? Still, if I were an American parent, I'm sure that the review by Kyleigh Grulke (age 5), would sell me the picture book faster than a positive review by the New York Times

Wiki After Dark: Strange Sex Wiki

2007-04-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

The future is awesome! Sex is awesome! Wikis are awesome! But combined? Yes, a combination of them all is awesome.

Wiki After Dark, like all wikis,is a collaborative website that allows you add your carnal knowledge ever growing database of kink. Dig this: they bent the site enough from the usual wiki so that you know that it's a defacto sex one. Instead of calling small, incomplete wikis, they call them "sperms"

This is a WikiAfterDark Sperm: it means that it is a small part of the whole ejaculate that it should be.

This is seven shades of crazy! Want to learn how to fist animals while dressed up like a dead kitten, hence fulfilling your deepest and most satisfying desires? Of course you do! Drink from the knowledge tree and let your sexual curiousity be quenched.

Kindergartner arrested for tempter tantrum

2007-04-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Sadly, this is absolutely true. A little kid was throwing a tantrum, the police were called in and he was arrested. Police Chief Frank Mercurio had this to say about the incident:

When there is an outburst of violence, we have a duty to protect and make that school a safe environment for the students, staff and faculty. That's why, at this point, the person was arrested regardless what the age.

Classified under: law enforcement, stupidity

Sentimental Journey

2007-04-12T09:01:00.001-07:00

Mind not her face as she looks as she's retarded. But if she *is* retarded, she's a *magical* retard! Instead, focus on the visuals. I have no clue who directed this, but whoever did it is seven shades of cool. Not only does the video make oblique references to the Invisibles, but it also uses no cgi, instead, opting for look-a-likes and copious uses of gel.

Alanis Morrissette sings My Humps

2007-04-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

This has been absolutely all over the internet in the past couple days, but for the two of you who have not seen it, here is Alanis Morrissette's soulful, earnest heart-rending cover of My Humps.

Classified under: music, Alanis Morrissette

Night Trap - The most violent, perverted, and dangerous game ever created

2007-03-04T01:59:00.000-08:00

Back in 1992, Sega was set to wow the world with its CD-ROM attachment for the Genesis. One of the games that premiered along with with the Sega CD was Night Trap, a game about young girls spending a night in a lake cabin that was inhabited by vampires. This game was at the forefront of the full-motion video craze where players controlled an interactive movie where filmed scenes would show the action and players could basically choose which scenes would show based on their input. In this case, the player had to activate various traps to protect the girls from the vampires.

This game created a ton of controversy with people claiming the goal of the game was to rape and eviscerate the young girls. Sentaors Lieberman (yes, that senator Lieberman) and Kohl led a senate committee hearing on violence in video games where tey used the game as an example of how video games were corrupting the nation's youth. The one positive thing that came out of these hearings was the creation of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) that came up with a rating system for video games.

Here I present a short documentary on Night Trap where you can see that what was derided as a game full of sex, violence, and perversion, was really a game of bad acting, poor gameplay, and Diff'rent Strokes star Dana Plato.

Someone has also taken the liberty of splicing all the video scenes from Night Trap together into a more-or-less cohesive movie:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Classified under: video games, Night Trap, politics, ESRB

Jack Bauer takes on Aqua Teen Hunger Force

2007-02-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

So, in case you hadn't heard, the city of Boston recently went apeshit over advertisements for Aqua Teen Hunger, an animated series on Cartoon Network that is about to have a DVD release. Clearly, they should have sent in Jack Bauer:

Classified under: 24, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, terrorism, humor

Evening Service sings God Hates Fags

2007-02-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

This has to be a joke, right? I mean, would a Christian band really write and perform a song entitled God Hates Fags? I don't know, their page seem pretty legit.

Classified under: music, Christians, hate, homosexuality

Typography is Sexy

2007-02-02T15:04:00.000-08:00

Check out these pin-up girls made entirely from bits of typography from various typefaces. Pretty awesome.
Classified under: typography, pin-up

Federal Way Schools Ban Viewing of 'An Inconvenient Truth'

2007-01-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

After a parent who supports the teaching of creationism and opposes sex education complained about the film, the Federal Way School Board on Tuesday placed what it labeled a moratorium on showing the film. The movie consists largely of a computer presentation by former Vice President Al Gore recounting scientists' findings.

"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."

First off... Condoms don't belong in school?! Well, sure, not if you want a sixth of your graduating class to be pregnant like mine was.

Secondly, he obviously doesn't want education, or as I'm sure he calls it "book-learnin'", either. So my questions are such: who is this fuckwit, how the hell did he become a teacher, and why is anyone listening to a guy named after a snowman?

"From what I've seen (of the movie) and what my husband has expressed to me, if (the movie) is going to take the approach of 'bad America, bad America,' I don't think it should be shown at all," Gayle Hardison said. "If you're going to come in and just say America is creating the rotten ruin of the world, I don't think the video should be shown."

Scientists say that Americans, with about 5 percent of the world's population, emit about 25 percent of the globe-warming gases.

Ah yes. People who haven't even seen the film creating fictitious ideas about what the film is saying, and then getting angry over the falsehood they made up in their own head... Bravo. That takes a special brand of idiot.

And not only that, she's an idiot who refuses to listen to facts that she doesn't want to believe.

To quote Garfield (the cat, not the former president) These people (and I use the term loosely) should be "drug out in the street and shot."

More here.

Classified under: Al Gore,news,American idiots

Cute Game Boy Cartoon

2007-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

Continuing David's Youtube Extravaganza here at MKZ, I present to you this commercial for a local video game store in Omaha:

Yes, I do believe that Game Boy was just masturbating...

Classified under: video games, Game Boy, commercial

There are Klingons in the White House

2007-01-18T13:33:00.000-08:00

At least according to Rep. David WU (D-OR).

Classified under: politics, Star Trek

Spiders and substance abuse

2007-01-18T12:38:00.000-08:00

What happens when spiders are exposed to illicit substances? Bad shit goes down, that's what. (The other contributers to MKZ will have an added appreciation for this as it was produced in Canada.)

Classified under: spiders, drugs, humor

Reenacting video games in real life

2007-01-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

The group Mega 64 is dedicated to putting the scenes you see in video into real life. They have been around for awhile, their videos have appeared on MTV, and were hired by Ubisoft and SpikeTV to make ads for them. Despite all that, I was only marginally aware of them until today when I checked out the awesomeness that is their website. My two favorite game reenactments are probably Paperboy and Metal Gear Solid so I include them below.

Classified under: video games, humor

The Best of the Wicker Man

2007-01-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

If anyone needs any proof that the Neil LaBute is a misogynist, let the video b proof.

Bush Can Open Your Mail

2007-01-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

President Bush has quietly claimed sweeping new powers to open Americans' mail without a judge's warrant, the Daily News has learned.
The President asserted his new authority when he signed a postal reform bill into law on Dec. 20. Bush then issued a "signing statement" that declared his right to open people's mail under emergency conditions

"[A] career senior U.S. official who reviewed the legal underpinnings of Bush's claim [said] "It takes Executive Branch authority beyond anything we've ever known."

More here.

Classified under: news,politics,George W. Bush

Review of Chess (the game)

2007-01-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

Greg Kasavin, editor-in-chief of gamespot, a video game review site just announced that he is moving on. Apparently, one of the things he is known for is his review of chess, the board game, as if it had just come out as a modern video game. Here are some excerpts from his 1999 review:

Chess casts you as king of a small country at war with a rival country of equivalent military power. There is little background story to speak of, and by and large the units in the game are utterly lacking any character whatsoever. The faceless, nondescript units are dubbed arbitrarily such labels as "Knight" and "Bishop" while their appearance reveals nothing to suggest these roles. To make matters worse, the units on both playable sides are entirely identical aside from a simple color palette swap.

Unfortunately, that gameplay is severely lacking. For one thing, there are only six units in the game. Of those six, two are practically worthless while one is an overpowered "god" unit, the Queen. She's your typical Lara Croft-esque 1990s "me, too" attempt to attract the fabled gaming girl audience from out of the woodwork to help solidify a customer base for a game that simply cannot sell itself on its own merits.

Only two players can compete simultaneously, thus severely limiting any play life to be found. There is only one gameplay mode- no capture the flag or team play - and that involves the two players taking turns moving their units one by one.

Classified under: video games, chess, humor

GRINDHOUSE TRAILER!

2006-12-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

This is the coolest trailer I've seen in some time. The kind of trailer that makes you want to watch it over and over and over. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez' GRINDHOUSE. Two movies back to back in the tradition of graphic 70s exploitation cinema. Awww, FUCK YES! Watch it NOW!

Retrofied under: Grindhouse,Quentin Tarantino,Robert Rodriguez,trailer

London Hit By Tornado

2006-12-13T17:04:00.000-08:00

This is soooo weird. A Tornado in London.

Many people are spending the night in a respite centre after a tornado ripped through several streets in north-west London.
Up to 150 houses and many cars were damaged when the freak weather hit the Kensal Rise area.

Classified under: news

New Spray-On Condom

2006-12-11T13:36:00.000-08:00

This was brought to my attention by Trundling Grunt/Anon/Neil and was too good not to share.

Vinico, apparently a German condom manufacturers has teamed up with the institute for Condom Consultancy to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes. According to them,

Our team is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom. It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides. We call it the '360 degree procedure' -- once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash. The plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. We believe it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip. However, before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure that the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimise the vulcanization process. We had hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms, and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine.

They are also looking for people to test the condom:

We are looking for 30 Condom-Testers. Your job is testing the new condom. We are looking for men with a penislengh from 9 until 12 cm and 15 until 20 cm. Men between 13 to 14 cm are welcome, too. You should have experience with condoms and beeing almost 18 years old. Your data will be kept very safe. If you have any questions, please contact us.

Sounds intriguing, if possibly painful and innefective.

Classified under: condoms

The Meaning and Culture of Grand Theft Auto

2006-12-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Grand Theft Auto (starting at the third one, anyway) was a revolutionary game that changed and inspired games to come after it. And its themes of violence and misogyny have been raked through the media and subject to politics and idiot like Jack Thomson. But I think the intelligentsia have gone a little too far in analyzing the meaning of the game in this new book with essays on the series. As examples:

GTA is symptomatic of the historical erasure of the mythmaking process; it is reactionary politicized speech meant to satirize through the reformation of identity and participation in the metaphoric destruction of societal obstacles. It is the mirrored fantasy space in which silenced voices are annunciated and performed. - 'Play Fighting: Understanding Violence in Grand Theft Auto III' essay by Tanner Higgin

One of the greatest achievements of the Grand Theft Auto series is its unflinching satire of two of the most noxious political ideologies of those boardrooms, namely market fundamentalism (also known as neoliberalism) and its dim-witted provincial cousin, petro-fundamentalism. - 'Grand Theft Video: Running and Gunning for the U.S. Empire' essay by Dennis Redmond

It is tempting, given the degree to which this world is fleshed out, to consider GTA:SA in the light of Jean Baudrillard's concepts of the hyperreal and the simulacrum... - 'The Subversive Carnival of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas' essay by David Annandale

You can find more quotes from such essays as 'Cruising in San Andreas: Ludic Space and Urban Aesthetics in Grand Theft Auto', and 'Positioning and Creating the Semiotic Self in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas' at the techdigest article on the book.

Classified under: video games, Grand Theft Auto, academia

Tom Brady - Hunkiest QB Ever

2006-12-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

I realize that the other contributers to this blog are Canadian and probably know as much about American Football as I know about Curling, but I couldn't resist posting this "tribute" to the New England Patriots' dreamy quarterback that all the women want. I have to assume this video is a joke, but if not that ups the unintentional humor three notches.

Classified under: football, Tom Brady

2006-11-30T23:02:00.000-08:00

Michel Gondry and David Cross: One Day

This awesome short film directed by, and starring Michel Gondry features David Cross as his shit, who follows him around trying to get acknowledged as Michel's son.

Street Fighter: The Later Years

2006-11-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

I meant to post this when the first installment came out. Fortunately, the second installment reminded me of how well done this was. Ever wondered what happened to the Street Fighter contestants 10 years after the tournament? Well, they have fallen on hard times, but they aim to get their lives back in order.

Classified under: video games, Street Fighter, humor

The Spider-Man 3 Trailer You DIDN'T See

2006-11-13T16:09:00.000-08:00

Go now, cause it'll probably get pulled soon. YouTube has already removed it apparently. This is an unfinished trailer that shows Venom at the end (Teeth n' all) that was made for some comic con. I'd say San Diego, but that was a while ago, I'm really not sure. But who cares. Here it is.

Classified under: Spider-Man 3,trailer

Breast-Feeding Baby Cover Shocks Idiots

2006-11-12T16:20:00.000-08:00

Kind of old news, couple months ago, but I just stumbled on it, and it's ridiculous. It blows my mind that this shit still goes on. America is so backwards. The entire center of that country has a massive stick up it's collective ass.

NEW YORK - "I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine," one person wrote. "I immediately turned the magazine face down," wrote another. "Gross," said a third.

Babytalk is a free magazine whose readership is overwhelmingly mothers of babies. Yet in a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo — a baby and part of a woman's breast, in profile — inappropriate.

Classified under: censorship,news,webjunk

How would the Superheroes vote?

2006-11-11T01:20:00.000-08:00

I know MKZ hasn't updated in, like, forever, but I still find it surprising that I am the one to post the comics-related content. Anywho...

Have you ever sat down to figure out the political leanings of your favorite super hero? What is Superman's stance on capital punishment? Where does Spider-Man stand on social security? How would Batman vote?

Fortunately, David Campbell has done all this for you as he covers the political spectrum and tells you what category all the most popular super heroes fall into.

The Batman ballot is just great.

Classified under: politics, comics, superheroes

What else can the Entertainment Software Assocation Rate?

2006-11-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

Your mom, that's what.

Note that there's an interesting story behind this shirt. The company/website T-Shirt Hell was selling the shirt and some gaming blogs, like Bits & Bytes & Pixels & Sprites, kotaku, and Destructoid posted entries about it. The Entertainment Software Association (ESA), which control the Entertainment Software Review Board (ESRB) that determines ratings for games in the United States sent letters to these sites, demanding they take down the posting and the pictures of the shirt because it constitutes an advertisement for the shirt which tarnishes and dilutes the ESA's logo. Note that alll of these sites claim their posts were merely reporting/editorializing on the shirt (which given their other content is probably correct). I wonder if MKZ will also get a cease and desist letter?

Classified under: video games, ESRB

First it was sports figurines, now retro game sprites

2006-10-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

As Christianity taken new a different ways to appeal to potential new Christians, it does remind me of an old post about Jesus playing sports a while back. In some way it was campy, even a great novelty for anyone, Christian or non-Christian alike. It was just plain fun and funny.

Along the same vein it also reminds me of Christian Rock as well with the movie Saved in which the principal of a Christian High School backflips, even speaks slang to appeal to the youth crowd; a cheesy endeavour that would probably backfire more than succeed.

However as people try to get God out in more interesting ways, I guess they are hitting a point with gamers by trying to appeal with some old skool graphics.

Pixelated game sprite versions of all the well known people in Good Book. Sure it might not sway a lot of people to put their faith into religion, but to me...it's sure a hell of a lot less cheesy than most other attempts by the Church to hit pop culture.

Classified under: game sprites,

Frank Miller's 300 THE TRAILER

2006-09-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

If you crazy asses have not seen The 300 Trailer, then you are in a surprise. From the Frank Miller mind who brought you Sin City here is the next film adapted from his works. It may not be historically accurate but seriously...this trailer will make hair grow on your chest (despite the clear absence of chest hair in the film) and would make any 12 year old boy instantly become a 24 year old in a matter of minutes. IT'S THAT MANLY. Granted the whole music video look might put off many, but who gives a shit...I want sentences with exclaimation marks and death!

Classified under: Frank Miller, 300

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

2006-09-14T22:25:00.000-07:00

I just watched a pre-air pilot of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and I can say that it is fucking good. The cast is great, and a few of them are from HBO, so that speaks to the calibre right off the bat. ALSO, Nate Corrdry (brother of Rob Corrdry, and also sometime anchor on the Daily Show) is a main character. Cool eh?!

The writing is top notch. It's a pitch-perfect commentary on the SAD state of affairs at Saturday Night Live, which essentially is the show within a show that makes up this series.

My main concern is how long it can last. And I do know that at some point it'll turn ass and then keep getting made for a year or two because it will be fabulously succesful and award winning and then the network will bleed it dry like it does so many other shows.

But, from the look of it, I'd say that's probably a number of years away, so it's good to be psyched for a new TV show, cause not many good shows are still on the air, except in syndication.

So I command you all to watch this show and fulfill it's destiny. Blow the competition off the airwaves. (Unless it's running opposite The Office. In that case, Tivo it, or download it from bittorrent or whatnot and let the it fend for itself.)

Classified under: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,Aaron Sorkin,television

ABC Documentary on 9/11 Riddled with Inaccuracies

2006-09-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

An ABC Documentary on 9/11, titled The Path to 9/11, outright lies and distorts facts that claim that the Clinton Administration is to blame for 9/11 for not taking a shot at bin Laden when he had a chance to... even though according to Richard Clarke, the 9/11 Report and hundreds of other sources, this NEVER happened, and it purely ficticious.

The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11
The Path to 9/11

Classified under: Path to 9/11

Roddick vs Pong

2006-08-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, I guess if you watch TV (probably shown more often during sports) you may have seen this commercial already, but I just stumbled upon it and I think it is one of the best integrations of video games into real life ever done in a commercial. It's just clever and funny. Anyway, tennis star Andy Roddick vs. Pong:

Classified under: tennis, commercials, video games, pong

OK Go - Here It Goes Again music video

2006-08-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

OK Go is one of my favorite bands. I've seen them twice, and despite being the openers they consistently outperform or at worst shine just as bright as the headliner.
They've done an awesome and crazy dance video before, a dance I had the pleasure to witness firsthand, but they've outdone themselves this time.
Watch now to bask in the pure glowing joy this video brings.

Classified under: OK Go,music video

The Superficial Friends!

2006-08-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

The Superficial Friends (The Olsen Twins, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton) are on a mission from President Bush to stop Stephen Colbert's insidious efforts to make people think.

Pure. Genius.

Classified under: cartoon,satire,webjunk

How to Produce a Hit 3D Animated Feature

2006-07-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

My friend Bob White just sent me this brilliant little how-to guide by a guy named HenningK on the CGTalk message boards. It is so brilliant and bang on, that it must be read by all. A couple samplings to whet your appetite.

The large cast of secondary, or supporting characters should also be very simple. Instead of personalities, each character should have one "thing" that they keep doing for the entire movie. Then, if the character suddenly does something else, it signals a turning point for everyone and the emotional climax of the movie.

The fart joke (by which I mean one of the characters farts audibly and another calls it "nasty" while waving a hand in front of his nose) should only be executed by a "nasty" supporting character... ideally a pig or skunk. Perhaps the character has been unpopular up until this point in the movie, but now the power of his farting (or some other personal hygeine or glandular problem) ironically saves the day somehow. This makes it seem like even unpopular kids have a purpose.

Much more is here, in 10 easy steps. Read on.

Classified under: animation

THE AMAZING SCREW-ON HEAD!

2006-07-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! You can watch the pilot episode of Mike Mignola's Amazing Screw-On Head cartoon series starring Paul (American Splendor, Lady in the Water) Giamatti, David (Frasier's brother) Hyde Pierce, Molly (SNL, Superstar) Shannon and Patton Oswalt! WOW!!

Also, make sure to give Sci-Fi Channel some good feedback as it appears they're uncertain as to whether they'll still pick it up. Fill out the very quick survey here.

Classified under: Amazing Screw-On Head,Mike Mignola,cartoon

Killer Kangaroos! For realz.

2006-07-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Paleontologists say they have found the fossilized remains of a fanged killer kangaroo.

Professor Michael Archer said Wednesday that the remains of a meat-eating kangaroo with wolflike fangs were found, as well as a galloping kangaroo with long forearms that could not hop like a modern kangaroo.

"Because they didn't hop, these were galloping kangaroos, with big, powerful forelimbs. Some of them had long canines (fangs) like wolves," Archer told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.

More here.

Classified under: science,paleontology

Junior Senior music video

2006-07-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

I've never seen pixel animation as beautifully done as in this video. Some of the gags are right out of old school Warner Bros cartoons too, and overall the whole thing just makes ya happy. So check it out. Did I mention it has gorgeous animation?

Classified under: animation,music video,webjunk

"An internet was sent by my staff"

2006-07-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

For those of you unaware of "net neutrality", it is the principle that Internet users should be in control of what content they view and what applications they use on the Internet. This is as opposed to ISPs controlling what web sites or services work best for you. It is currently being debated in the US legislature. You can check out what's going on at savetheinternet.com.

Anyway, the senate commerce committee recently voted on some very basic net neutrality provisions. Here is Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) explaining why he voted against it (and giving amazing insight into how the internet works):

There's one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.

But this service isn't going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes.

We aren't earning anything by going on that internet. Now I'm not saying you have to or you want to discrimnate against those people [...]

The regulatory approach is wrong. Your approach is regulatory in the sense that it says "No one can charge anyone for massively invading this world of the internet". No, I'm not finished. I want people to understand my position, I'm not going to take a lot of time. [?]

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?

Do you know why?

Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people.

[...]

Now I think these people are arguing whether they should be able to dump all that stuff on the internet ought to consider if they should develop a system themselves.

Maybe there is a place for a commercial net but it's not using what consumers use every day.

It's not using the messaging service that is essential to small businesses, to our operation of families.

The whole concept is that we should not go into this until someone shows that there is something that has been done that really is a viloation of net neutraility that hits you and me.

This is almost (but not quite) as bad as having Rick Santorum be your senator.

Classified under: politics, net neutrality

Liberality for All

2006-07-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists who have surrendered governing authority to the United Nations. Hate speech legislation called the “Coulter Laws” have forced vocal conservatives underground. A group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy, Oliver North, and a young man born on September 11, 2001, set out to thwart Ambassador Usama bin Laden's plans to nuke New York City.

I can't believe I hadn't heard of this before, it's awesome!

In fairness to the creator of the comic, he is fully up front that this is satire and he doesn't believe the people he mocks in his comic are really so extreme. A nice contrast to, say, Ann Coulter...

Classified under: comics, politics

Sailor Puff Moon Girls?

2006-06-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

Classified under: Anime, Powerpuff Girls

Do you want your mind slightly warped?

2006-06-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

An interesting enough of a concept. Children are asked to interpret a scene from a Winnie the Pooh storyline and an artist is commisioned to create a work of art based on that interpretation. Me personally I like the watercolour on as well with the one below it with the giant arrow.

Classified under: pooh,

Which animated character does this dimunitive skeleton belong to?

2006-06-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

Click the link to find out as well with skeletal forms of other animated characters including the Powerpuff Girls, Harvey characters, and even Flintstone characters. I particularly like the souless eye sockets of Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

Classified under: animation,

Chopin to star in an RPG

2006-06-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's not often that we show specifically a video game on MKZ. Perhaps once in a while we would show something related to video games such as music, celebs playing video games, fine arts and even figure skating. But if you feel that RPGs are a bit too DnD or medieval, and for you piano heads who have had to labour through many of Frédéric Chopin's piano works, then lo and behold Chopin himself is going to get a video game with him as the main character.

Here are some new images of Bandai Namco and Tri-crescendo's Xbox 360 original RPG Trusty Bell: Chopin's Dream. From the producer of Star Ocean 3 and Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria. The story take place in a dream world which centers around the piano composer Frederic Chopin, who died at the age of 39 due to sickness. Three hours prior to his death, Chopin entered a dream fairy-tale land, which inhabited by people with incurable diseases, who also have magical power.

In the dream world, Chopin meet a young girl named Polka, who lives in the Village of Tenuto. Polka also has a dying disease, her boyfriend Allegretto is searching for ways to convert Polka's magical power to help cure her disease.

Trusty Bell: Chopin's Dream will have a complex combo based battle system similar to Star Ocean 3, but this game also make use of musical elements.

And trust me when I say this game is going to be good and not just a novelty. Valkyrie Profile and Star Ocean are excellent series.

Classified under: Chopin,

Man awarded $400,000 for ten year erection

2006-06-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.

I'm sure that this was settled in civil court, but still I can't help to worry if this was judged from a group of his peers, it would result in a hung jury. Then it would have to been dragged out in appeals.

Classified under: erection,

Women assaulted with dead dog.

2006-06-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

A St. Peters woman answered her door early Wednesday morning and was hit over the head with a dead dog.

Lisa L. Hopfer, 33, of Wentzville, allegedly forced her way into the St. Peters woman's home and attacked the victim with a dead Chihuahua puppy.

Police reported Hopfer bought the puppy from the victim after the victim's Chihuahua had unexpectedly become pregnant by a neighbor's dog. The puppies were not full breed Chihuahuas.

The alleged victim met Hopfer through friends and sold one of the puppies to her, police reported.

"The assault is a simple assault, but the fact that she forced her way into the home makes the burglary a felony crime," said Dave Kuppler, spokesman for the St. Peters police department. "We didn't issue a summons to her, but we have arrested her. She will be held accountable for her actions."

Kuppler said Thursday charges were still pending.

Ramones Musical to hit London stages

2006-06-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Already had a run in Australia as it slowly moves itself westward. Perhaps a North American debut is needed?

Here's their official website

Classified under: Ramones,

Jon Stewart and gaming...

2006-06-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen it already, here it is again, him making fun of both congressmen and gamers alike.

Classified under: games,

What do you get when you mix Chess Checkers and High Tech warfare?

2006-06-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

Quadradius is a pretty damn good online game, granted some of the power-ups are insanely power, it's fun and damn addictive.

Classified under: games, quadradius

Beer Battered Double Bacon Quarter Pounder Tutorial

2006-06-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

Behold an artery clogging wonder of humanity.

Classified under: food, burger, McDonalds

National Gay Marriage Threat Level Raised to "Flamboyant"

2006-06-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON, DC -- The US Homeland Security Department raised the National Gay Marriage threat level from "fruity" to "flamboyant" today, in response to increased "gay chatter" intercepted by Intelligence agencies. Secretary Chertoff urged citizens to "be vigilant, and on the lookout for queers", but to keep their daily routines as normal as possible in order to keep the economy strong.

The color coded alert system is awesome.

Classified under: news, satire

Sex in Art

2006-06-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today I stumbled across this sex and art blog, and I was blown away. If you're a fan of either sex or art... (and I'm willing to bet you're at least a fan of the former) then you're gonna have to check this out. I've been going through the archives. There are links to tons of amazing photographers, painters, and other such artists. A great way to spend an hour.
Classified under: art,erotica,sex,webjunk

Just don't head the ball please.

2006-06-18T02:49:00.000-07:00

Classified under: urinal, soccer, football

Screech needs your help

2006-06-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Our most beloved school geek and buff celebrity boxing contender has hit dire straits. Buy his T-Shirt to save him from a life of poverty, even if it is a scam. He's a celebrity damnit, he deserves to be worshipped like one.

Classified under: Screech,Saved By the Bell

Power your cellphone with Nintendo Power

2006-06-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

IMHO the SNES one would look slick as fuck.
Classified under: Nintendo, NES, NES Controller, cellphone, faceplate

Clearly Sega pre-empted 3 Fast 3 Furious.

2006-06-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

Classified under: Fast and the Furious,

FEMA paid for sex changes and vacations.

2006-06-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks FEMA!

WASHINGTON -- Houston divorce lawyer Mark Lipkin says he can't recall anyone paying for his services with a FEMA debit card, but congressional investigators say one of his clients did just that. The $1,000 payment was just one example cited in an audit that concluded that up to $1.4 billion -- perhaps as much as 16 percent of the billions of dollars in assistance expended after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita -- was spent for bogus reasons.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency also was hoodwinked to pay for season football tickets, a tropical vacation and a sex change operation, the audit found. Prison inmates, a supposed victim who used a New Orleans cemetery for a home address and a person who spent 70 days at a Hawaiian hotel all were able to get taxpayer help, according to evidence that gives a new black eye to the nation's disaster relief agency.

Click link for full story.

Classified under: FuckEMA,

If The Aristocrats offended your Full House Sensibilities...

2006-06-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

This will just offend it a bit more.

Classified under: Bob Saget,

Damien isn't the only kid in black to be celebrated...

2006-06-05T00:19:00.000-07:00

Classified under: EMO,

How to make some company for your own fleshlight...

2006-06-03T00:03:00.000-07:00

I mean you have heard of the not safe for work product the Fleshlight before right? I mean sure you're seen it's ads while you peruse the Empornium website saying how'll the male customers would never want really pussy ever again.

Well for those who still purchase their porn with money I might as well explain it. It is basically the professional product that is no way inspired, but similiar to the popular prison staple The Fifi, with far less assembly required, higher grade materials and availble to the public.

However for those of you still unsatisfied with the lack of a warm or at least any body accompanying your fake vagina, the title link shall instruct you on how to make a female body out of some pillows, stolen panties (don't get caught!), and some random porn. Those who cannot read Japanese need not give a damn they can't read Japanese.

Classified under: fleshlight, sex, Masturbation

Here is Alkexsey...and he STICKS THE TETRIS!

2006-05-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Global Gaming League pushing for Videogames in 2008 Olympics

Ted Owen, Chairman of the Global Gaming League, is drumming up support for a competitive gaming exhibition at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

The Chinese government seems supportive of the idea, given that competitive gaming is such a huge market in the country. Currently, the concept has not been pitched to the International Olympic Committee.

If it is, the dream of having competitive gaming at the Olympics faces a difficult journey. There hasn't been an exhibition sport at the Olympics since 1992, because they drew attention away from the main events. Also, since there is relatively little physical activity involved with gaming, it may never be seen as a legitimate sport.

Still, China may be the perfect place for pro gaming to establish its worldwide legitimacy. With a population of over 1 billion people, if even 5% of all Chinese were gamers, that's still a bigger audience than anything we have in the U.S.

Even if the IOC shoots down any proposals, Ted Owen won't be deterred. He said:

If the IOC pushed back on us and we had the Chinese government approving us, we would do it anyway. We may not have the circles, but we'd do it right by the stadiums and would bask in the glow of the Olympic light. Everyone wants to watch the best at anything ... and it's time to let people see the best this field has to offer.

It'll be pretty varied at least dependin on the games. Koreans for fucking RTSs, states for FPS and Japanese for fighters. Oh yeah despite the Russian quote, I imagine the Japanese will also rape at Tetris.

Classified under: olympics, China, 2008,

It should have been a leg if you know what I mean....

2006-05-31T16:43:00.000-07:00

SHANGHAI, China -- Doctors in Shanghai on Tuesday were considering surgery options for a 2-month-old boy born with an unusually well-formed third arm.

A doctor inspects a 59-day-old baby boy who was born with three arms, at a hospital in Shanghai, in east China Monday.

Neither of the boy's two left arms is fully functional and tests have so far been unable to determine which was more developed, said Dr. Chen Bochang, head of the orthopedics department at Shanghai Children's Medical Center.

"His case is quite peculiar. We have no record of any child with such a complete third arm," Chen said in a telephone interview.

The boy, identified only as "Jie-jie," also was born with just one kidney and may have problems that could lead to curvature of the spine, local media reports said. Jie-jie cried when either of his left arms was touched, but smiled and responded normally to other stimuli, the reports said.

More in the link

Classified under: science,

Alan Moore's New Masterpiece

2006-05-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

What happens when Alice, Dorothy and Wendy from Wonderland, Oz and Neverland, respectfully, meet on the verge of the first world war and discuss and relive their first sexual experiences with one another? Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie's new work Lost Girls is what. Lost Girls, a stunning 16 years in the making, has finally been completed and will be released soon as a massive three book box set from Top Shelf. It's Alan Moore's first pornographic work. But not the kind of pornography that you'd think of. Not sleazy, not torrid, not disgusting. Something to excite the sexual imagination in the classiest way possible. Here are parts one and two of his interview on Newsarama, and here is part three; an interview with the artist Melinda Gebbie. Alan Moore's interview and insights are especially interesting.

Classified under: Alan Moore,comics,erotica

Stephen Colbert's White House Correspondents Dinner Speech

2006-05-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Stephen Colbert, the brilliant faux Republican of Daily Show and Colbert Report fame walked right into the lion's den and hilariously praised the Bush Administration in such a satirical backhanded way that I can't believe he was asked to deliver a speech. Listen to the audible silences to his jokes. Check it out here.

This administration isn't rearranging deck-chairs on the Titanic! This administration is soaring! If anything they're rearranging deck-chairs on the Hindenburg!

Warning: the full speech is almost as long as an episode of his show. But if you're a fan, that's a great thing.

Classified under: Stephen Colbert,Colbert Report,politics

Guess the invention's purpose....

2006-05-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

Crazy Japanese

Classified under: Japan, bra, invention

Live Action Mario

2006-04-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Now this is a truly impressive live action rendering of Super Mario Bros. I've seen a few of these before, but this takes the cake. And apparently it was done on a pretty low budget by kids at Gordon College in Massachussetts.

Classified under: video games, Super Mario Bros.

Rivers Cuomo on CBC

2006-04-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows weezer knows that Rivers Cuomo doesn't do a lot of interviews. By all accounts he's getting weirder and more secluded. But I'm still a weezer überfan and it's even flattering as a Canadian that he would be on CBC's Definately Not The Opera. I used to listen to DNTO in high school, and I know fellow MKZ contributor Rob did too. Unfortunately I missed the interview, but luckily some bigger weezer überfans than myself made an MP3 of it on their fansite weerez.

Classified under: weezer,Rivers Cuomo,music,interview

HotTube

2006-04-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

With the advent of Google Video and YouTube, funny, quirky, sexy, strange clips, television shows and so on have exploded across the net. I suppose it was only a matter of time before something like this came along. Behold! HotTube! A blog that collects and posts links to the hottest videos the aforementioned sites have to offer. Enjoy.

Assified under: video,webjunk,erotica

Bush was Right

2006-04-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what Green Day would sound like if they were right wing shills? Enter The Right Brothers, a band of rockers that make songs espousing their right wing beliefs. Now, I have nothing against people expressing their beliefs in their songs, but these guys just sounds so ridiculous. Check out the music video for their song Bush was Right that's making the iPod of every right wing pundit (in the link above).

An advocacy group, Right March, has been formed with the aim of getting their song on MTV's Total Request Live. Check out the letter they send to supporters, which includes the lyrics to Bush Was Right.

The scariest thing is that this is not a parody. Both The Right Brothers and Right March are totally serious. Keith Olbermann made his own music video for the song, which is funny, but I'm not sure truth isn't more funnier than parody in this case.

Classified under: politics, music

The X-Box Funbox

2006-03-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

Video game commercials sure have come a long way. Apparently the current trend is just to make absolutely bizarre things that will stick in people's heads. Like, the PSP commercials with the talking balls of lint or "nut you can play outside." This is Microsoft's contribution to the "What the fuck were the ad executives thinking?" genre.

Classified under: video games, X-Box, commercials

Subtitle Your Own Bollywood Movie!

2006-03-24T19:11:00.000-08:00

This is one of the coolest things I've seen on the internet in months and months. You watch a short bollywood clip with 3 lines of dialogue and come up with the subtitles for it. They even update the movie clips every day with multiple clips! Hours of fun!

Here's mine. Check it out!

Classified under: Bollywood,webjunk

Soda Finder

2006-03-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

As a Canadian, I've always been facinated with food products that are exlusive to the States and never manage to travel up North. Products like the legendary American Mountain Dew, which actually has caffine in it. Unreal! Thanks to Soda Finder (or as we'd call it in Western Canada, "pop"), you can pick up strange drinks from South of the border. Drinks like Pibb and the unfortunately named Squirt. Checking out the Canadian section is quite illuminating. I feel sorry for our American cousins that can't receive A&W Root Beer in canned form. You guys are missing out.
Classified under: soft drinks,

Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris

2006-03-12T15:58:00.000-08:00

The list is old hat, but this is new and it's just *weird*.
Classified under: Chuck Norris,

Supermon-tage

2006-03-10T08:50:00.001-08:00

So Warner brothers has created this "Year of Superman" campaign to generate buzz for the new movie coming out this summer. When you go to this page, it has a nice montage of all the different Superman incarnations available on DVD from them. You've got George Reeves, Kirk Alyn, Christopher Reeve, Tom Welling, Dean Cain, and the most recent animated Superman. No Superfriends or earlier Superman cartoons, but it's still pretty cool.

Classified under: Superman

Crispin Glover For Joker.com

2006-03-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

The best thing about nerds is that they like characters in one nerdy movie to play characters in another nerdy movies. It's a trait that many of us find lovable. Horrah for fat, huggable nerds! Pop pop pop!

In true nerd herd fashion, they have crafted some impressive arguements as to why Crispin Glover should be in the movie.

sebastian
- CRISPIN GLOVER IS TEH JOKER, THERE IS NO OTHER SO GOOD FOR THE CHARACTER

THE Jonathan Granick
- w00t w00t! Uggghhhnnnn!

Jim _Tennessee
- Mr. Glover is well-suited (think Wild At Heart), but is a born American. This seems to matter to the new Bat-folks.

-DJ Olsen
As a gay man, I love Crispin Glover. Him with paint on his face makes me love him more

If I was an executive and heard articulate posts like that, I'd be on the phone RIGHT NOW! to sign up Glover for the role. No Glove, no love, people.
Classified under: Batman,Crispin Glover

Beastiality For Beginners: How To Fuck a Dolphin

2006-03-08T20:49:00.000-08:00

On having sex with a male dolphin:

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

The dolphin also has a prehensile penis. That would mean that in human terms, it could pick up your socks or hold your beer, if you're so inclined.

But what's a howto sex guide without authorial annecdotes?

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

Penthouse has nothing on this guy.

For those who love dolphins, but fear it's mighty snake like penis, there's always dolphin dildos.

Via Warren Ellis
Classified under: beasiality,dolphin,sex

Head Exorcist: Harry Potter leads us to Satanism

2006-03-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

Father Gabriele Amorth said: "You start off with Harry Potter, who comes across as a likeable wizard, but you end up with the Devil.

"There is no doubt that the signature of the Prince of Darkness is clearly within these books."

Skeptical? I was at first. To me, it seemed like something that you'd read on the Onion. But new photos suggest that the Potter books are already working their insidious work on our children. Please God, forgive them.
Classified under: Harry Potter, satanism

Jon Stewart's Intro From the Oscars Is Up On Youtube

2006-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or does Jon Stewart look a tad uncomfortable at the beginning? It's a tad weird seeing his schtick work on the Oscar crowd.
Classified under: Oscars,Jon Stewart